The Process of Inventing Yourself

Land Acknowledgment

In New York, we are on the ancestral land of the Lenape people.

We say this to acknowledge that, no matter when or how we personally arrived on this land, we each have a relationship to the life and the pain that this ground has been witness to.

Let us take a moment to reflect on the responsibility of that relationship.

Let us be stewards of this land and make a connection to it that allows us to leave it better off than when we arrived.

If you’d like to learn more you can go to these links to get a deeper understanding.

Setting the Container – 

Setting the Container is a restorative term used to describe how our sessions will be conducted. It describes the commitments we choose to make to an another for how we will hold space and for how we will work together.

Click the Group Commitments below to read through what to expect in our sessions together.

-You are here ~ Be present ~ Be Kind ~

Treat others how you want to be treated

-Embrace “The Circle Process”

As shared the way we work at NYCID is using the Restorative Circle – We will never force you to speak so understand you can pass and we expect that you will participate as you become more familiar with the how we work together.

-Let perfection go and share your experiences

We must work together and learn from one another in order for our process to be fulfilling.

-What’s shared here stays here and what’s learned here leaves here.

– Remember impact over intention – Opps and Ouch

-Notice our own biases and judgments

We all have them. Let’s not ignore them!

-Realize our privilege

It exists and is based on different seen and unseen identities we hold – we deepen our connections to one another when we acknowledge as much.

-Practice self-care and community care

Take care of yourself – when done right – you will take care of others!

Setting the Container

The purpose of this training is to help you develop essential skills for use in your personal and professional growth.

  • Experience and Understand The Body~Mind~Heart Connection
  • Learn Important Terms and Tools
    • Purpose, Intentions, and Expectations
    • Build Your Rock
    • The Four Human Endowments
    • Paradigms and Principles
  • Tool ~ Generative Social Fields
  • Tool ~ The Wheel of Emotion
  • Tool ~ The Ladder of Interference
  • Understanding Needs and Interests
  • Understanding Personality Styles
  • Understanding Conflict Styles
  • Understanding the Anatomy of Difficult Conversations
  • Learning to Take and Give Feedback
  • Learning the Power of Habit
  • Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Briefing
  • Tool ~ Evocation Interviewing

Tool ~ Mindfulness Check-in

How are MWe?

In Small Groups – let’s connect and speak to what is moving in us after our mindfulness activity and what intention(s) might you put forth today?

The Power of Habit

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

1: Be Proactivity

Between stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose. This is your greatest power. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language—I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language—I can’t, I must, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say—they have no choice.

Thought Experiment

Think of a situation in your personal life during the past few weeks when responded in a reactive way.

In Your Workbook describe what you said or did.

Then rephrase what you said using a proactive approach.

Our Harvest

2: Begin With The End in Mind

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind is based on imagination—the ability to envision, see the potential, create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes and conscience. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (or first) creation and a physical (or second) creation.

Thought Experiment

Take a few moments to consider that you can create the life that you wish to lead. That you can create health, wealth, love, belonging. If you can start with the end in mind and use the power of your imagination to SEE yourself Thinking, Feeling, and Being the way you wish to live then it is just as possible as any limiting ways of being that you might right now be experiencing.

In workbook consider the State of Being you want to be in or the goal you want to achieve. Then, assign that goal a letter. Then put the way you think you will be when you achieve the state and add the unlimited emotions you are going to feel.


Thought Experiment

Begin to think about your mission statement. Your goal is to start to Build Your Rock – to start with why. You will not need to perfect the statement now.

3: Putting First Things First

Highly effective people do not really manage time—they manage themselves.

While most of the world spins around in Quadrant I, reacting to urgent matters and managing one crisis after another, people who spend a majority of their time in Quadrant II are leading balanced, serene, and ordered lives. They are planning and executing according to their highest priorities.

Thought Experiment

Using the chart in your Pro-Action Plan. Identify the actions your are taking each day and place them into the quadrant that you believe makes the most sense.

Our Harvest

4: Think Win-Win

Thought Experiment

Consider two relationships that you are currently in and put them to the test of the state of balance. Then consider what action you might need to take in order to move the relationship toward a WIN/WIN State.

Our Harvest

5: Seek First to Understand and Then Be Understood

Thought Experiment

COMMUNICATION IS the most important skill in life.

Consider this: You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak.

But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s frame of reference?

In your workbook answer the two questions to find our how and why you may struggle to hear others.

Our Harvest

6: Synergize

Thought Experiment

Before you can leverage the strengths of others, you must first be able to recognize and value their differences. So, how much do you value differences? Take this short quiz in your workbook.

Our Harvest

7: Sharpen the Saw

Thought Experiment

Sharpen the Saw is about balanced renewal in all four dimensions of human need: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. When you don’t renew yourself, you limit or even reverse your growth, and limit or decrease your capacity to produce and your ability to handle challenges.

So, you’re thinking you don’t have time to Sharpen the Saw? How can sharpening the saw increase capacity?

Think about it. And in your workbook note the things you are doing now or the things you’d like to do to keep yourself sharp.

Our Harvest