The topic of “who” defeats the topic of “what,” and the original feedback is blocked. We call this dynamic Switchtracking.
Relationship triggers produce hurt, suspicion, and sometimes anger.
You don’t like a particular food and your partner keeps surprising you with the meal for takeout.
You say, if you are going to keep getting takeout I need you to know that I really don’t like this food.
Your partner says, Okay, I understand but you should have thanked me first for getting the food.