Emotion Waterfall

• In the chat type the emotion that best fits how you are feeling today.
• Wait for Michael to say hit enter and together we will create an emotion waterfall.

In New York, we are on the ancestral land of the Lenape people.

On our journey together, we need to establish how we will work together – we need to establish the right expectations.

Let’s start by saying that at least for the next six weeks – we are all in this together.

Our restorative and inter-cultural lessons taught us the beautiful term Ubuntu (Pronounced – oo-buun-too). Ubuntu – is a Nguni Bantu term meaning “humanity” – sometimes translated as “I am because we are” and also “I am because you are.”

You can’t be humanity by yourself

• We believe in building community and nurturing personal growth.
• We believe effective communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships and a just society.
• We believe helping people understand their emotions is the key to helping them successfully communicate through conflict.

During our session together let’s circle up and discussion how we are feeling so far.

Ask the question “What is moving in me?”

• Share a few minutes from your own experience.
• Once everyone has gone.
• Feel free to reply to each other.

How can we use it?

Body~Mind~Heart Connection Main Site

The Social Field is the natural, pre-given structure of relationships among individuals, groups, organizations and systems that give rise to collective behaviors and outcomes.

All human beings participate in co-creating the complex social contexts they live in and engage with.

Our emotional systems help us maintain balance.

Life is challenging when we interact with the emotional systems of others.

We have the ability to co-create a generative social field in which we facilitate deep conversations about big issues, and shape a safe and supportive climate where individuals in our teams/systems can feel emotionally safe, connected and respected.

There is always a social field, either generative or degenerative depending on how people are showing up.

~ Qualities of Generative Social Fields ~

One of the most important essential skills we can all learn is how to communicate through conflict. When your emotions are high and your stress levels are putting an incredible amount of pressure on your body, knowing how you naturally deal with adversity will help you create the space to have responses instead of reactions in the heat of a tense moment.

Note: the questions are repetitive for a reason!

After taking the survey, ask the question “What is moving in me?”

1. Were you surprised by the results?
2. If you have taken an inventory like this before were the results different?

• Share a few minutes from your own experience.
• Once everyone has gone.
• Feel free to reply to each other.

The fundamental hypothesis of restorative practices is that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.

• Engagement — involving individuals in decisions that affect them by listening to their views and genuinely taking their opinions into account
• Explanation — explaining the reasoning behind a decision to everyone who has been involved or who is affected by it
• Expectation clarity — making sure that everyone clearly understands a decision and what is expected of them in the future (Kim & Mauborgne, 1997)

Sequential Go-Arounds

This is a circle in which a question or discussion point is raised and students answer in turn, proceeding around the circle in either a clockwise or counterclockwise direction.

• A volunteer may offer to go first, answer the question and choose the direction to proceed (to the volunteer’s left or right).
• The circle keeper may be the first to answer the question and choose the direction.
• Or a circle keeper may ask a certain participant to begin.

Non-Sequential Circles

Non-sequential circles are more freely structured than sequential circles.

• Conversation proceeds from one person to another in no fixed order.
• This type of circle allows a discussion to evolve organically and can be used effectively for problem solving, as well.

Fishbowls

The fishbowl allows certain participants — in the inner circle — to be active participants, while those in the outer circle act as observers.

• Fishbowls can be structured entirely for the observers’ benefit so that they can observe a specific process or certain interactions.
• They can also be set up for the participants’ benefit, allowing observers to share their feedback at the end of the activity.

Talking Pieces

• Talking pieces serves as a visual reminder that only the person in possession of the talking piece has the floor.
• Talking pieces helps resolve the issue of one person dominating the discussion.
• They encourage active listening and provide a focus on the one point being made at that time.

Note: one of the team members should assume the position of circle keeper in the small circles.

Remember your commitments to one another from the main group, agree to them again, add others if necessary.

In the circle:

• Round One: Introductions and describe one intention and one expectation you have for this summer.
• Round Two: Answer any or all the questions from the thought experiment:
  
  • How do you contribute to your social fields?
  • In what ways are you making generative contributions?
  • In what ways might you be degenerative?
  • What might you take away from these spaces?

Restorative Practices and the Circle Process are not:

• Substance.
• Who said what, who did what?
• Who intended what?
• What did you each contribute to the problem?

• My feelings.
• Their feelings.

• My self-image.
• Their self-image.

Choosing a Purpose

Once you know it, you cannot unknow it.

You might try to ignore it.

And it is still there.

Learning

Expression

Problem Solving

Listen first to understand, then to be understood. You almost never know everything you need to know about the situation. Seek out the pieces of the puzzle you don’t have.

You are an unparalleled expert on you. So, speak for yourself and how you are experiencing the problem. Consider sharing your perspective, interests, feelings, and requests.

You take the lead. Once you have listened to their views and expressed your own, then you should proceed to problem solving. Ask: “Can we find a way to move forward that works for both of us?”

Benefits of Receiving Feedback Well

Your relationships become richer.

You learn and get better at things.

Other people find it more enjoyable to work around you.

It is easier for you to work with others to solve problems.

By your example, you help others see the value in seeking feedback for themselves.

Appreciation

Coaching

Evaluation

You are giving thanks and encouraging yourself to keep doing what you are doing. For it to be effective, it needs to be specific, authentic, and in a form that you find satisfying.

Showing you a better way to do something to help you grow. Coaching can be related to improving your skills or fixing a perceived imbalance in a relationship. (Note: Grace uses the word coaching to mean the act of listening and asking questions to help a person discover the best way forward.)

Tells you where you stand compared to a standard or compared to others. Evaluation aligns expectations and clarifies consequences.

Relationship Triggers

Identity Triggers

We resist feedback if we think the person giving it has questionable motives or lacks credibility. Also, how the person delivers the feedback may cause us to resist. Instead of hearing what the person is saying, we focus on our issues with the person.

We resist feedback when we perceive an attack on who we think we are. Our brain’s survival functions cause us to move toward pleasurable things and away from painful ones. The brain gets confused when it faces short-term pain necessary for long-term gain or short-term pleasures that produce long-term pain.

Ask the question “What is moving in me?”

How can we adopt the Feedback Truths in our programming this summer?

• Share a few minutes from your own experience.
• Once everyone has gone.
• Feel free to reply to each other.